SELF EVOLUTION REVIEW
Linda Napikeski

Self Evolution? Worst Local Band Ever? Yes, I was there ... 'Self Indulgent' Crap!

Gawd what a feeling of entitlement - yes, yes it will be this group that changes the world - emptying bars since ...200?

it seems there isn't any end to the die hard try very hard revolution as in'Self Evolution.'

How long have these guys been around and who the hell prepared them?

Grown Men who glaringly have three clean shirts, a three chord repertoire, one pair of sneakers and NO girlfriends.

Here they're going jumping around like they actually believe folk are listening - with rehearsed synchronized deouche-bagery.

A stiff drink might reduce the pain - I order my common Cesar now a triple and count backwards from 10. People shuffle unpleasantly.

the vocalist stretches to reach a note that African camels sometimes make, shaking and slithering round the mic like autistic kid.

Yes, monotone had a new color today and it is black with envy. The band grins with'Self Satisfaction' - in a very'Self Masterbative' way.

the remainder of the group possibly spends alot of time in the mirror and very little essentially practicing anything aside from hip + step movements.

The classic thirty something ( and ) mohawk shimmers off one of the guitar players heads - cutting through the monotony and reminding you

he isn't 38 - and his time is still coming. A bald neo-nazi washout from the bass concentration camps survives yet another potential train wreck.

The drummer drums on a song that should never have been written. Something about 15 mins of fame - who gave them that long? Release the hounds!

A lonesome girl sways stage front with a similar awkward shimmy. I 'm a lady and there's nothing tantalizing, horny, or engaging here.

she has to be'hearing with her heart.' that's so sweet. Perhaps she seen one of the You Tubes of an empty bar and needed to fill that lonesome space?

of course I only looked online after my soul was stained by the toughened fact - that these folk actually take themselves seriously.

Why would you put You Tube Material if you absolutely suck - wouldn't you want to hide everything until you get a pay cheque?

Yup, in the digital world you get showered by message after message to'come check us out, we are dynamic, giant things are happening!'

you finish up in some scummy bar smothered in a feeling of'Self Mutilation' - do they not hear themselves? May be better to remove the next 1000 messages
from these guys - unless of course the final show involves nooses and Russian roulette solos for each member and fan in fact.

Ever since I used to be a cheerleader for a major football team I have handled over zealous'Self Satisfied' quaterbacks, coaches, sportscasters you mention it.

Ive reviewed dozens of real bands and to hear the band banter about their future brings tears of laughter and pain for all the real gifted artists in the world.

May they never hear your cry ... Ugh screech - whatever you call it.

Dear' Self Evolution' ; while you are out changing the world could you take an image of paint drying - that way when I'm absent you will know what i would rather be watching.

Why don't you practice Playstation games or something with some promise? Where is the bartender is playing the slots too? Snap! This better be a free show for everyone else.

Linda Napikeski
10/10 suck stars
9/10 puke points